I was reading chapter 1, but not even half-way through it, I lost interest in the story. I'm sorry to sound harsh, but it didn't sound interesting at all.

Just finished Ch 17.  Still hard going with missing words, half words, past and present tenses mixed up, even gender mixed up not to mention punctuation.  The story doesn't 'flow' with all the scene breaks etc.  Rating about 2.

Just started reading this story.  Due to the lack of punctuation it is very hard to read smoothly.  Having to backtrack to study the text in order to try to understand a particular sentence is annoying.  However, my son has just informed me that he has read this story and it does improve.  I hope so.  I will rate the story later but it does have promise.

The formating is terrible and half your punctuation's missing.

This makes it sufficiantly difficult to read that, well, i stopped a few paragraphs in.

Double line spacing is useful for draft copies (more room for editing) but hopeless for the version you expect readers to ... read.  Also: are you using justified text, or just double-tapping the spacebar or using an odd font? That doesn't help either. Justified text with insufficant characters on a line results in problematic spacing.

As for the punctation, it's mostly missing full stops and commas.  Having to conciously go back and re-read sentences while mentally adjusting for this disrupts the reader's immersion and ability to keep track of what's going on, while failure to do so results in sentences which make no sense.

Whatever else is good or bad about this fic, those issues are a huge road-block.

Just wondering how long it will take for Harry to realize that he didn't get sorted so much as shoved into Gryffindor house.

As said in the Ch 1 review. I'm liking this story more and more and can't wait to see what else you have planned.

It seems to be starting out interesting enough.  I can totally see where you are coming from as far as Harry's attitude and look forward to seeing how this story turns out.

Care to explain how he got put in Gryffindor house without him questioning how he ended up there? Or does he just not care? 

Hmmm, Has Harry seen/read the Slayers anime/manga?

4th year - 1st task - "oh look, a dragon! .... 'Dragon Slave!' MWAHAHAHA!"

You really need to use more punctuation in your sentences, especially commas, or have someone to do it for you. A lot of your dialogue I have to read more than once to fully understand the nuances of what thay're saying and it takes away from the flow of the story when your readers have to stop and reread what you've written.

Otherwise you're story so far is a good read and I'm looking forward to what comes next.

Great story I hope you update it soon. I can't wait to read more

An interesting concept here, but there are quite a few problems so far.

First, Harry's capabilities seem to vary quite far and there seem to be a vast number of unexplained powers and occurrences.  People are killed, but the reader has no reason why (power boosts, random murders?), Harry has minions, but he doesn't seem to do anything about the Dursleys… unlocking magical power in two people you hate is not something an evil overlord would do (heck it's not something that anyone would do), unless he could control them; by allowing Dudley power he has simply added a potential rival… not real bright.  He is paranoid, but is ignoring what happens with his relatives, some of the only people who can actually provide any useful information about himself to potential opponents.  He knows about Diagon Alley, but he doesn't concern himself with the 'darkness' in London… it's the same location, he should be worried as he is already aware that he cannot take on the magic users…

As for his not worrying about London… I think this might be a geography problem.  Harry lives in Surrey, that happens to be the southwest edge of London, parts of it have been subsumed by London in the past few decades.  Anything growing in London is something that those in Surrey need to worry about as that means it is right next door…

So far we have heard that Harry is too busy to do this, that and the other, but we don't have any idea what he is actually busy doing… he is not gathering intelligence in any meaningful way, he is not gathering power (no summoning of minions or recruiting of any kind), he just seems to be doing nothing but saying 'this will happen' as if his will is the only thing that is necessary… Harry's actions so far don't make any sense, he has goals, but doesn't seem to do anything about them, he is paranoid, but doesn't really pay any attention to what is happening, he's worried about not being able to fight various groups, but doesn't try to gain any information on them… what is he actually doing?

So the plot idea and mix of spells and minions is good, I really like that aspect of it.  Now for the constructive part, the writing needs a bit of work.  Not the grammer, but the writing is stilted, there is something about it that doesn't allow it to flow.  Maybe it is the structure on the page as there are no breaks to tell us what is inner monologue and what is dialog, but there needs to be some form of a break.  Second, the time kind of jumps around, flash backs to actions in the past are mixed in with current action (example is the flashback to something about opening dudley's channels while fighting the deatheaters*).  There needs to be some flow or tie in before you jump from idea to idea.  Like I said earlier, the ideas and the plot are great, I really like them, but the flow needs some work.  A beta reader might be helpful?  But please keep writing, I like the plot!

awesome can't wait for more

wow, thats a very interesting start, i look forward to continue reading this story!

I had a pretty good review written out, if a do say so myself, but the security code isn't working properly. Seems like it's just to write the numbers and hope it gets through.

This version of Harry was perhaps more likely to occur than the canon heroic version in the books. He could just as easily learn 'might makes right' than compassion and loyalty, given his upbringing

Very interesting! Cant wait to see how this goes!

Great start to the story mate, I was wondering when  Powers that be is going to be updated?

I like that Harry can do wandless magic mate, I like how treated the Death Eaters, when asking who the Dark Lord is.

Please make this into Harry/Hearm Story.